


(our bodies are) the guilty ones

by henriqua



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Emotional Sex, Getting Back Together, Kinda, M/M, Porn with a tiny hint of Plot, kinda?? I honestly don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:04:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7811863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henriqua/pseuds/henriqua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”But why get so worked up over it if everything was fine before she found out? I mean, you did tell her it was in the past, right?” Tadashi asked, cursing at how strained his voice sounded. Kei worried his lower lip with his teeth, deep in thought, and ran his fingers up on Tadashi's bare arm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(our bodies are) the guilty ones

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure should the rating be mature or explicit so I went with explicit because there's ~intercourse~ but if you think I'm exaggerating with the rating just tell me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> Title from "The Guilty Ones" from the Spring Awakening musical!

_From: Kei / 0:32_

_Are you awake?_

 

_To: Kei / 0:33_

_Yeah. Why?_

 

_From: Kei / 0:35_

_Just checking. You shouldn't be up though. It's getting late._

 

_To: Kei / 0:38_

_I'm a college student too, you know :p_

 

_From: Kei / 0:39_

_Are you home?_

 

_To: Kei / 0:42_

_Yes? Is something wrong?_

* * *

  
Ten minutes after the last text there was a knock on the door. It was always ten minutes even though it was impossible to travel the distance between their apartments so quickly. Tadashi had never asked about it because he knew he wouldn't get a satisfying answer.

Kei looked surprisingly normal considering the time. There was a slight irritation swimming in his eyes and he had definitely been ready for bed before leaving, at least judging from the worn-out sweater he had on. Tadashi wasn't sure was he supposed to be annoyed with or feel sorry for his best friend so he just shook his head and let the other man in.

”Do you wanna talk about it?” Tadashi crossed his arms as Kei walked past him and sat down on the couch. He took his glasses off, put them on the table and let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes. The apartment was dark, the only light coming from the bedroom behind Tadashi's back – he had just finished the essay he had been working on the whole day before Kei's messages. The whirr coming from his laptop filled the silence between them.

”Minami broke up with me.” Tadashi quirked an eyebrow at the words. Kei leaned his head against the back of the couch and opened his eyes, studying the ceiling.

”Just like that?”

”Well, it's not like I didn't see it coming. She's been distant for some time now, not constantly messaging me or inviting me to places.”

It wasn't the first time Kei ran away to Tadashi when things got tense with Minami. They had been dating for a little over a year and they had fights more often than Tadashi considered to be healthy. Kei's family absolutely adored Minami and Tadashi could see why: she was always polite to everyone, had extraordinary good looks and was majoring in something so fancy Tadashi couldn't even remember what it was. Truthfully, he didn't really care. Kei was his best friend and if something or someone made him feel terrible, it made Tadashi feel terrible, too. And most of the time Kei was feeling terrible because of Minami.

”So she said she wants to break up and you just fled?”

”No. I told her what I've been thinking.”

Tadashi knew very well that despite being miserable Kei was afraid of ending his relationship with Minami because of his family. Tadashi tried not to think badly of the Tsukishimas, they used to be like a second family to him, but their need to see their sons finding girlfriends, getting married and having children as soon as possible had gotten out of hand way before Kei had even started high school. Minami was Kei's first girlfriend, his first relationship he didn't need to hide and even though a couple that could do nothing else than fight together was definitely far from a happy couple, Tadashi knew that Kei would rather be in a bad relationship than disappoint his parents again.

”I'm sure you were really considerate with your words,” Tadashi said with a small smile. He sat down next to his friend and played with the hem of his nightshirt while he waited for the other man to say something. He knew his fiddling annoyed Kei but he didn't stop until the blond placed a hand on top of his.

”I said I think things have never really worked out between us,” Kei sighed, his thumb gently brushing the back of Tadashi's hand.

”How charming,” Tadashi laughed and tried to ignore how the light touch on his skin felt like small shocks of electricity. Kei's hand was cold when he squeezed Tadashi's own and intertwined their fingers.

”She said I'm still not over my last relationship.” Tadashi glanced down at their hands and sighed, biting his bottom lip.

”Is that so?”

”She was kinda upset when she found out about it and she's been acting weird since then. When I ask her what's the matter she just snaps and says it's nothing even though it's written all over her face,” Kei said and blinked slowly, his gaze still fixed on the opposite wall. He looked exhausted and Tadashi actually felt a little bad for him.

”But why get so worked up over it if everything was fine before she found out? I mean, you did tell her it was in the past, right?” Tadashi asked, cursing at how strained his voice sounded. Kei worried his lower lip with his teeth, deep in thought, and ran his fingers up on Tadashi's bare arm.

”Maybe she's afraid I'll cheat on her or that her friends or parents will find out. Whatever the reason is, if it has something to do with my last relationship I think it's discrimination,” Kei mused, his face neutral. He settled his hand on Tadashi's shoulder and shifted slightly on the couch. Tadashi tried to calm his frantically beating heart, failing miserably.

”I agree but you can't really blame her, considering the things her friends sometimes say.”

”There's no way I'm giving her a second chance, though,” Kei's voice was nothing but a whisper and then his lips were on Tadashi's.

They hadn't done this in over a year if one didn't count the quick pecks they often shared after both of them got a little bit too drunk. There was a strict pattern the two of them followed every time Kei messaged Tadashi after he had had an argument with Minami: he would arrive at Tadashi's apartment ten minutes later, they would talk about the fight and, if possible, solve the problem. Then Kei would lean in as if he was going to kiss Tadashi but decide against it on the last minute and mutter a quick apology. Simple and clean.

Except it wasn't. Every time Kei came over Tadashi wanted him to take the last step and kiss him even though he knew it would be considered cheating and he was strongly against cheating. No matter how much he wanted it, it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair for Minami who, despite being usually the one starting every fight between her and Kei, had never actually done anything wrong. It wouldn't be fair for Kei who was supposed to learn how to face his problems instead of running away from them. It wouldn't be fair for Tadashi who knew that it didn't matter how much he loved his best friend, their relationship had never been accepted like Kei and Minami's.

The hurricane the two of them went through when Kei's parents accidentally found out that their youngest son had been dating his best friend in secret for two years had been huge and destructive. The endless talks about how wrong their relationship was, their parents constantly asking what they had done wrong to be treated like that by their children and the amount of absolute shit everybody had thrown on them had been enough to tear them apart around the same time they graduated from high school.

They had started college as best friends, Kei had found a girlfriend that made his parents happy and after hours of talking they had came to a mutual agreement that it was better to be friends than go through hell again. The problem was that their feelings for each other had never disappeared, no matter what they kept telling to their parents. Kei had buried them under the thoughts of Minami, Tadashi had buried them under a faked smile and suddenly everything they had built in the past year was slowly breaking down.

Tadashi knew he was supposed to stop what he was doing, push Kei away and tell him to go back and make Minami believe they could still save their relationship. There was just two little flaws in the plan: firstly, Tadashi was still in love with his best friend, and secondly, he had never known how to say 'no' to Tsukishima Kei.

So when Kei's other hand found its place on the back of his neck Tadashi only leaned in, his fingers now twiddling with the hem of Kei's shirt instead of his own. If Minami had broken up with Kei it wouldn't matter that they did this, right? If she got to know about them doing this no one would blame Tadashi for her broken heart because she wasn't innocent, either.

He knew that wasn't actually true but he could always try to convince himself that it was. Tadashi wanted to believe it because it was impossible to keep his hands to himself when their tongues met and Kei slid his hands into Tadashi's hair. The kiss was far from slow and hesitant, their lips still familiar against each other. The sensation made it impossible for Tadashi to think straight – they had kissed many times but this was the first one in a long time and exactly what Tadashi had yearned for.

Tadashi tugged the hem of Kei's sweater and they broke the kiss just to get the piece of clothing out of the way. Tadashi was quick to pull Kei into another kiss while the blond's fingers found their way under his shirt. The light touches on his hips and chest made Tadashi sigh into Kei's mouth, giving his tongue a perfect chance to lick deeper into Tadashi's mouth.

The act was enough to knock every thought that wasn't about Kei and his lips out of Tadashi's mind. He put both of his hands on the blond's shoulders for support and settled himself on his lap, initiating another kiss right away. Kei's fingers were still adventuring under Tadashi's shirt, his blunt nails drawing thin lines on the shorter man's back. He reached the hem of the shirt and soon enough it was accompanying Kei's sweater on the floor.

Tadashi tipped his head back when Kei started placing kisses on his jaw and neck, helplessly trying to fight back the whines of need and pleasure every time Kei's teeth scraped his skin. His grip of Kei's shoulders was definitely getting painful but the blond didn't complain, just sucked a mark on Tadashi's neck and smirked to the sound it drew out of the man sitting on top of him. He kissed the spot, knowing it would bloom in different shades of purple in the morning, and ran his fingers through Tadashi's already messy hair.

The next kiss was bruising, filled with pure need and want, more teeth than lips. They were both getting impatient, Kei tugging the dark hair between his fingers. Tadashi whined and rocked his hips against Kei's, making the taller man gasp in his mouth.

” _Fuck_ , Tadashi,” Kei whispered, busying himself with sucking another mark on Tadashi's neck. Tadashi only repeated his actions, every cell in his body going crazy about the fact that all of this was finally real again. The friction he created between their bodies mixed to the open-mouthed kisses Kei kept placing on his neck made him breathless.

”Bed?” Tadashi asked with a small voice, not sure had he read the situation right after all. Kei met his eyes, pupils dilated and hair disheveled. They were both breathing heavily, Kei's fingers still messing Tadashi's hair up.

”Yeah,” he nodded and put his hand on Tadashi's bare chest, gently pushing him off of his lap. Tadashi stumbled backwards, careful not to get his feet tangled up in the shirts on the floor. He tried to even out his breathing but his task was rudely interrupted by Kei who crashed their lips together once more. Their tongues met briefly before Tadashi softly pulled Kei's lower lip between his teeth, getting a frustrated moan as a prize.

”C'mon,” the blond said and wrapped his fingers around Tadashi's wrist, leading him to the bedroom as if they were in his apartment. Tadashi didn't exactly mind, especially when Kei pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him, his mouth already on Tadashi's collarbones. The touches made Tadashi's body lit on fire, the bitterness of the situation and the burning of pure need making it hard for him to form coherent thoughts.

”K-Kei?” Tadashi couldn't help the small quiver in his voice and he saw how concern flashed in Kei's eyes when he looked at him.

”Everything alright?”  
  
”Are you sure doing _this_ is alright?” Tadashi bit his lip and propped himself up on his elbows, the loud whirr of his laptop still dancing in the air. Kei sighed before pressing a haste kiss on the corner of Tadashi's mouth, combing his fingers through Tadashi's hair.

”Do you not want to?”

”You know I want you more than anything.”

”Then, for the love of god, _shut up_ ,” Kei laughed, trying to hide the fact that he probably wanted Tadashi more than Tadashi wanted Kei. The blond kissed the man underneath him slowly, sweetly, almost lovingly, and Tadashi felt like crying. He forced the suffocating feeling in his throat down and focused on Kei who was now peppering kisses on his chest and hips.

Kei was determined to make a bruise on Tadashi's left hipbone while his fingers found the waistband of the shorter man's pajama bottoms, careful not to touch any skin underneath it. Tadashi whined, partly because Kei ran his tongue over the sore, slowly bruising spot on his hip and partly because it took all his willpower not to buck his hips up and tell the other man that he could already stop with all the teasing. Tadashi was getting painfully hard and happened to know that he wasn't the only one.

He was just about to voice his distress when Kei's hand finally slipped under the waistband, palming him through the fabric of his underwear. Tadashi wanted to curse aloud at the sensation but stopped himself just in time, biting his lip. The touch felt good and the fact that it was caused by Kei made everything feel _great_. He jerked his hips up just enough to get a little bit more friction, the movement earning him a hot kiss on the neck.

”Eager,” Kei laughed against his skin, not a trace of malice in his voice. His fingers curled around the waistband and Tadashi lifted his hips so Kei could undress him from the last pieces of clothing he still had on. The blond dropped Tadashi's pajamas and underwear unceremoniously on the floor and was back on top of him in seconds. Tadashi let out a strangled moan when Kei's hand found his hard-on and stroked it while he simultaneously sucked a mark on the junction of Tadashi's neck and shoulder.

Kei swore under his breath to the noises Tadashi was making and kissed the other man like it was going out of style. Tadashi kissed back greedily, running his fingers down on Kei's chest until he reached the button of his jeans. His hand lingered over the button for a couple of seconds, asking for a permission Tadashi knew he already had. Kei nibbled at Tadashi's bottom lip and he took the hint, unbuttoning the blond's jeans quickly. Tadashi tugged the pants down just enough to free Kei's erection, wrapping his fingers around it. Kei thrusted into Tadashi's hand, his low moans hot against the shorter man's cheek.

”Fuck, Kei, please. I'm so close already,” Tadashi whined, the sounds escaping from the other man's mouth driving him insane.

”Second drawer from the top, right?” Tadashi wasn't sure which was more ridiculous: Kei still remembering where Tadashi kept all his essential items for sex or the fact that Kei just knew Tadashi had never even spared a thought of moving them somewhere else. Tadashi just nodded weakly, following Kei with his eyes as the blond got up from the bed to rummage through the drawer.

Tadashi still found it hard to believe this was happening. He was afraid to close his eyes because he was sure the next time he'd open them he would be in the bed alone, realizing everything that had happened in the past hour had been nothing but a cruel dream. He needed Kei on top of him, he needed the blond to touch him and tell him everything was real and Tadashi didn't have to worry Kei would leave him – again.

He watched how Kei removed the rest of his clothes and climbed back onto the bed, his dark eyes running up and down on Tadashi's naked body. The gaze sent shivers down Tadashi's spine and the all too familiar, nearly painful heat sparking in his lower body was getting almost impossible to deal with.

”Hurry the fuck up already,” he hissed through gritted teeth, only getting a breathy laugh as an answer. Kei pressed a wet kiss on Tadashi's thigh, the shorter man taking the hint and spreading his legs. Kei settled himself between them, glancing at Tadashi while he poured some lube on his hand from a small bottle he had found earlier.

”You alright?” he asked with a soft voice, tossing the bottle to the side and warming the lube up between his fingers. The urge to cry swept over Tadashi once more but he managed not to break down, letting out an affirmative sound instead. He tried not to think that he wasn't the only one who had seen Kei like this, his hair messed up and lips kissed red, his voice tender and caring. He knew Kei and Minami had been dating for over a year and had definitely taken things to the bedroom more than once. Tears burnt Tadashi's eyes and he blinked them away, telling himself it was stupid to let his jealous thoughts take over now.

Every trace of jealousy left Tadashi's mind when Kei slowly pushed a finger inside him. He gasped and screwed his eyes shut, knowing from experience the blond was watching carefully how he would react. Tadashi's dick was already leaking with pre-cum and he wasn't far from begging Kei to stop with the cautious movements and just fuck him numb. On the other hand he knew how important it was to Kei to make sure Tadashi wouldn't get hurt. Somehow the fact only made the weird emotion full of love and longing grow inside Tadashi's chest.

Kei inserted a second finger, carefully moving them inside Tadashi to stretch him open, and Tadashi wasn't even ashamed of the noises he made. He lifted his leg and rested it on Kei's shoulder, giving the blond a better view of his doings. The addition of a third finger was almost too much to Tadashi – he bit his lip hard enough to break the skin and grabbed a fistful of sheets, moving his hips to get Kei's fingers deeper inside himself.

Tadashi wanted to whine when Kei removed his fingers but he bit the sound back. He kept his eyes closed and tried to calm himself down, barely registering the rustle of a foil wrapper ripped open. Tadashi knew he wouldn't last long no matter how well he mentally prepared himself, his every sense was already on the edge and he shivered when Kei's fingers brushed against his shoulder.

Tadashi put his hands behind Kei's neck to pull the taller man closer when they kissed, their tongues meeting with a wet sound. Kei ran his thumb over Tadashi's bottom lip after they parted, the look on his face making Tadashi's head spin.

”Kei, _please_ ,” he pleaded, his voice already hoarse. After a quick kiss on Tadashi's collarbone Kei was back between Tadashi's legs, his breathing heavy. Tadashi could do nothing but moan loudly when Kei finally thrust into him, excruciatingly slow. He didn't stop before he was all the way in and then pulled back, driving Tadashi absolutely insane.

”You feel so good,” Kei whispered after a couple of slow thrusts that made Tadashi buck his hips up in an attempt to get the blond closer, making both of them choke from the pleasure. Kei allowed Tadashi to wrap his legs around him when he shifted on the bed, initiating another kiss. Tadashi tried to answer to the kiss but couldn't concentrate on the task when Kei fastened his rhythm, the new angle allowing him to push even deeper inside Tadashi.

”Oh my god, oh– _fuck_ ,” Tadashi cursed, already seeing stars behind his eyelids. He wasn't far from his release, every inch of his body felt like it was on fire and Kei moaning right next to his ear wasn't exactly making the situation any easier. It hadn't taken long from Kei to find the sweet spot inside Tadashi that made him cry out loudly while his back arched up from the mattress.

”C'mon, Tadashi, I got you,” Kei said with a rough voice, reached for Tadashi's hand and intertwined their fingers.

The act was too much for Tadashi in every possible level. He gasped loudly, the tears that had been burning his eyes for ages falling on his cheeks. He wished he could stop the tears from flowing but he had no energy for that left, Kei's warm hand on his own being the only thing keeping his mind from going absolutely blank. He forced his eyes open, only nudging Kei with his foot when the other man suddenly stopped moving.

”I can take it, go on.”

”You're crying.”  
  
”Don't you dare to stop now.” It took a moment from Kei to make his decision. He thrust hard back into Tadashi, grinding against him over and over again. Tadashi stroked himself with his free hand and it didn't take long from him to come with a high-pitched moan. There were still tears falling on his cheeks and he didn't even try to stop them when Kei kept going for a couple more thrusts, making Tadashi's oversensitive body tingle when Kei came with a cry of Tadashi's given name.

They stayed like that for a moment, their chests pressed together and long legs tangled. The computer on the other side of the room had finally shut itself off, the only noise in the room being their heavy breathings and Tadashi's muffled sobs.

Tadashi let slowly go of Kei's hand to hide his face, feeling too overwhelmed to fight against the tears. He felt Kei placing a soft kiss on his forehead before he got on his feet and left the room. Tadashi heard the bathroom sink running and when Kei came back Tadashi had some kind of control over his sobbing – his hands were still covering his eyes but the weird, scorching mix of affection, guilt and delight had subsided just enough for him to breathe freely again.

”I'll clean you up, okay?” Tadashi nodded and tried not to shiver when Kei cleaned the mess he had made on himself earlier, the damp cloth warm against his stomach. He heard how Kei threw the towel on the floor and Tadashi moved his hands away, blinking slowly. He was exhausted, physically and mentally. Tadashi closed his eyes again when Kei lay next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. He pulled Tadashi closer, their chests only inches apart, and rested his chin on top of Tadashi's head.

Tadashi wanted to say how much he loved Kei even though he knew he wasn't allowed to feel like that.

”I'm sorry for crying,” he said instead. ”You didn't hurt me or anything, everything just felt... unreal.”

”I never actually loved her. Not like I loved you. Like I still love you,” Kei answered after a beat of silence, his voice so small Tadashi almost missed it. Tadashi took a shuddering breath, not sure was he supposed to feel relieved or rueful, and hated how he wasn't even surprised by Kei's confession.

**Author's Note:**

> why is my only contribution to the fandom like this
> 
> [tumblr](http://sleepyams.tumblr.com/)


End file.
